Martin and I decided that we would love to have a child together. We started trying in February 2006 and it was June when we found out I was pregnant. We were both so excited and started planning the future that day.
I made an appointment to see the doctor to confirm the pregnancy in July after I had missed 2 periods. I had a blood test to confirm this and was given a due date of the 15th February, my Dads' birthday. I was also told at the time that I was anaemic (I have always had low iron levels since childhood), and needed to take iron tablets and be referred to a haematologist to find out why my feratin level was so low. I went to the hospital for more blood tests and the haematologist believed my iron levels were due to my heavy periods.
 
On the 11th August we had the first scan and again were given the due date of the 15th February and everything was perfect with baby, we saw the heartbeat too. So we had passed the safe stage and told all family and friends, our children were so excited to be having a brother or sister and already the baby was part of the family. I started shopping for the nursery, we knew it was early but with having other children we felt there was no reason why we shouldn’t. I had finished the course of iron tablets but was still feeling quite tired. When I saw the midwife I told her and she put it down to just being pregnant, which I also thought.
On the 10th October we had the 20 week scan and were told it was a boy. Again everything was perfect the heart was beating and there was nothing abnormal detected.
We started discussing names although we couldn’t agree on a first name. We would use Thomas Nelson for his middle name which was Martins dad's name, who passed away when Martin was 17. We also agreed to double barrel our surnames as we aren’t married.
 
We set up a webpage on piczo to show off the scan pictures and get people to put their choice of names forward, although we hadn’t told them it would be a boy. We booked a 4d scan for November the 26th and couldn’t wait to meet our gorgeous boy.
I had a phone call on the 17th October at work from the midwife who asked why I wasn’t taking iron tablets, as a recent blood test showed that my reserve iron level was very low at 2.9. She told me that after speaking to the haematologist I would need to take iron tablets throughout my pregnancy and recommended that I have a vitamin B injection as that result was just below average. I booked my injection for the 23rd and got a repeat prescription of iron tablets. On the 19th October I was called by my GP regarding my blood test result and was told that after he had spoken to the haematologist I needed to have 6 vitamin injections to boost my system. I asked him if this would make me feel less tired and he said it would.
On the 21st October I went to the baby show at Earls Court and ordered the final bits that we needed (baby hammock and swing chair). So I had 2 injections a week for the first 2 weeks then got a really stinking cold and felt even more tired. I got myself signed off work for a week and was going to bed through the day. The following week I still felt bad so got another week off work and had the last of my injections.
Towards the end of that week I hadn’t noticed the baby move so went back to the doctors and got another sick note and he tried to find the heartbeat using a trumpet and couldn’t but told me that they weren’t very good so come back tomorrow when the midwife is in and she will use technology to find it. I just assumed as the pregnancy was progressing that the baby doesn’t move much so wasn’t too worried. I have had 2 children so I wouldn’t have any problems.
I went to the midwife the next day (16th November) and said “I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time but please can you check the heartbeat as I haven’t felt any movement for a few days now although I have been having Braxton hicks.” Well she couldn’t find the heartbeat so I was sent to Lincoln Hospital for a scan. Martin had to pick the boys up from school so a friend of mine from work came with me. I was trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong.
I was taken to the scan room with a midwife and 2 sonographers. I was asked to lay down and the screen was turned away from me. The sonographer put the Doppler on my tummy and literally 5 seconds later the words came that I will never forget...
“I am afraid there is no heartbeat, I’m really sorry.”
Finding Out
From the moment the sonographer told me the news, the tears flowed and the questions started. The first thing I wanted to do was tell Martin and my Mum and Dad... more>>
Barney's Birth
We arrived at Lincoln County Hospital at 8.30am and made our way to the maternity unit. We were taken straight to the SANDS room... more>>
Coping with the Grief
It is very hard to explain our feelings as we are up one day and down the next. It really helps to know that by doing this website, we may be able to help others who are going through this dreadful tragedy... more>>
The Funeral
It had been almost 3 weeks since Barney's birth when we called the Chaplain at Lincoln County Hospital to see if Barney was back from the Queens Medical Centre... more>> |
